birdpix

The speaker at last nights local RSPB groups indoor meeting ,Gerald Hall was the most self important dullard that I have ever had the misfortune to see and hear do a presentation.He started the slide show by spending a good five minutes to tell us exactly what the letters after his name meant,they all related to his excellence in the field as a wildlife photographer.Brilliant I thought ,we are in for a treat here then.Ten minutes later we were still looking at pictures of areoplanes that took him to the Gambia.Are you some sort of plane spotter I was wondering ,I was also thinking I hope your wildlife photography is of a better standard as these areoplane pictures werent even of decent quality.He was already irritating me at this point ,when he started making racist comments about people from the Gambia he began pissing me off.Irrelevent ,uninteresting picture after picture appeared for example one shot of himself lounging around on some aircraft seats.When the bird pictures finally came ,there were shots of redshank ,greenshank,common sandpiper -all excellent pictures ,but they did tend to remind me of my trip to Potteric Carr the week before last.The Gambia ,how many fantastic bird species does it have? Far more than the UK ,having been there three times ,I was wondering why there wasnt more variety in his photographs.Some of the bird shots simply should not have been included for the simple reason that they were poor quality and this from a man with letters after his name for his photographic skills,he had several attempts to justify their inclusion citing that he considered it better to have a poor record shot that nothing at all.Taht maybe ,but you cant then pass these poor pictures off onto a paying audience.We saw pictures of a toilet ,several of them in fact we saw pictures of the irritating Mr Hall wearing nothing but his National Coal Board underpants -Why? There were pictures of his underpants hanging up to dry in a hotel ,Im not making this up by the way.He made constant reference to the fact that he was bemused by the fact that the locals werent keen to be photographed by him (because you are a racist bigot perhaps?) Some of the things he said simply didnt make any sense ,for example his handy hints on photographic composition.He fell into a pond full of pig muck ,Karma at work here ?Another offensive thing for myself was when he boasted about hitting a vervet monkey around the back of the head with his tripod.What had the poor creature done to deserve this? Well nothing ,this rationalisation being that it was stopping him from photographing a bird.I wanted to remind him that the monkey he assaulted was meant to be there -he was not,however the annoying prick droned on for so long that there was no time at the end of the show for  the customary questions from the audience.Heres my handy photographic tip for Gerald Hall -get a digital camera ,I think you will find that they are quite popular nowadays.My friend my so offended by Mr Hall ,that he didnt bother coming back after the interval.I desperately wanted to heckle him when he showed us pictures of the imported meat that he was eating -it looked disgusting ,I wanted to ask him if he thought that these needless food air miles were justified ,he was a pampered tourist in a developing country.

I am going to stop now as most of what he said irriatated me ,boycott this twat if you have the opportunity.